Why Modern Womanhood (and Motherhood) is Confusing: What the Patriarchal Bullshit Part III (of III)
Finding Your Village: Grieving Expectations and Embracing Support
Unpacking the deep-seated beliefs that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us isn't easy. It’s a process of unlearning decades of conditioning. You may find yourself left with a sense of grief—grief for the village you never had, for the support you didn’t received, and for the expectations you were taught to place on yourself. This is why therapy can be such a powerful tool for healing.
Therapy provides a safe and nonjudgmental space to break down the different masks and identities you learned to take on. As we dive into these different ways of showing up—whether it be as a caretaker, a high achiever, a perfectionist, a self-critic, or a supermom—I want to be clear that there is and will not be anything "bad" about them. I'm not here to judge any of them. I truly believe we show up in different ways for reasons of safety, fitting in, belonging, and connection. As we explore these together, my goal is to support you in moving toward authenticity and choice in how you show up.
At Like a Mother Counseling, here are a few ways that I will support you:
Finding Presence Through Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a core part of the work we'll do together. We'll practice bringing gentle awareness to the present moment, which can help you:
Notice your body's signals: Learn to identify when you're entering survival mode and make a conscious choice to slow down and rest.
Cultivate self-compassion: Instead of judging yourself for feeling overwhelmed, you'll learn to meet those feelings with kindness and curiosity.
Healing Through an Attachment Lens
I will help you explore how your attachment style influences your relationships with your children, your partner, and yourself. This includes:
Understanding your needs: We will work together to uncover your core needs for connection, safety, and rest, and then find ways to communicate them effectively.
Creating new patterns: We'll practice new ways of asking for and receiving help, so you can build the supportive relationships you deserve.
Reconnecting with Your Self through Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Using the IFS model, we'll gently work with the different "parts" of you that are feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or resentful. These parts often feel like they have to "do it all."
Give permission to rest: We'll give these parts a chance to step back and trust that your core Self can lead. You'll learn that your value isn't based on your output.
Set boundaries: We’ll explore how to set clear and compassionate boundaries with others, so you can protect your energy and time.
Therapy isn't about fixing something that's broken; it's about giving yourself permission to be human. It’s about letting go of the expectations and grieving the loss of a life that wasn't what you were promised. It’s about creating space for rest and building the supportive life you deserve.
Whether you’ve started doing the work of unpacking the patriarchal bullshit or are ready to feel relief faster - Consider an intensive. We'll spend focused time together over a period of multiple hours or even days, depending on your needs, to really get you living in a way that feels like yours.
