Why Modern Womanhood (and Motherhood) is Confusing: What the Patriarchal Bullshit Series Part II (of III)
The Productivity Trap: Unlearning the "Do It All" Mentality
Building on the superwoman narrative, let's talk about the deeper forces at play: capitalism and productivity culture. We live in a society that values constant output and relentless efficiency. This mindset bleeds directly into your life as a woman and a mom. You're expected to not only work but also be the perfect parent, the perfect partner, and the perfect friend. This "doing it all" mentality is a direct byproduct of a capitalist system that thrives on making you believe you can, and should, do it all on your own.
Productivity culture doesn't leave any room for rest. It views rest as a luxury, an indulgence, or a painful kick in the ass—a sign of weakness and the high potential that someone will judge you for it. But rest isn’t a reward; it's a fundamental human need that society unapologetically taught us to forget about. For you, this lack of rest isn't just about feeling tired; it’s about a constant, low-level hum of anxiety and the eventual burnout that comes from running on empty.
One of the most overwhelming aspects of this trap is the feeling that it's not even worth asking for help because you have to spend so much energy and time managing the help that it just feels like more work. This fear of being disappointed is powerful.
When we're caught in the crosshairs of productivity and perfection, we're likely attempting to control everything—to feel successful, to feel like we're doing enough, to feel like we're enough. The thing is, you’re a human being, not a human doer (thanks, Nagoski sisters, for that call out). When you shift towards being, which includes accepting what you can’t control, you can consider putting away that scorecard, to embrace the mess and the imperfection (or we can start with tolerate), and finally find the rest that your body and soul crave.
How I Can Help You
Through a systemic and Internal Family Systems (IFS) lens, I help you explore the parts of you that feel they have to perform and produce to be worthy. These are often protective parts that learned to take on all the work to keep you safe from criticism or disappointment.
We'll work on gently unburdening these parts, giving them the rest and validation they've long deserved. By doing so, you can create more space for your core Self—which is inherently worthy and doesn't need to earn its rest. We'll also examine the larger systems at play (family, societal) that have contributed to these beliefs.
Ready to find real rest and support?